So you're pro-union, that's cool.

Now you're the cool guy co-workers admire and/or fantasize about.

I think if I did I'd get it waxed.

The thick back hair is what you're looking for if you want that wool sweater look.

You probably don't look like you have a sweater on at the pool though.

I could only grow a decent goatee in my 20s, in my 30s the beard finally looked good but had gray hair by then. It's an unfair universe. Now I'm sick of beards. I mean fucking Paul Ryan and Joe Buck have grown them during this beard obsession.

I had a beard for a while, because I'm trendy AF, but I think we're well past peak beard.

Wait, what am I, Camus! Dammit, he's dead?!

To be fair, they hadn't invented HGH and testosterone replacement, Viagra, or Twitter when Ali said that.

SO pedantic.

Enough with the shitty beards, bros.

I wish they'd do a Homeland crossover where Jordan Catalano has become an ISIS operative and Carrie used to be named Angela.

He probably just wants to write a paper about you.

O.o

8 inch? Could be bigger, but okay.

Because the The American Association of Orthopaedic Surgeons sent them steaks and a coupon for a free hip replacement.

As long as it's Moby Dick.

Maybe not Jude Law.

So Five Guys or Pho?

He does seem like the type to snort viagra off naked 20-year-old Batgirls.