The 90's were strange with that Euro dance shit. I remember a video by a kid called Jordi or something, who just kinda babbled in French over a 90's house beat with his folks pushing him around in a stroller. It got played on The Box a lot that summer. Rednex were pretty high concept by comparison.

I remember them tearing into a similar bullshit hipster band pretty savagely during that. Man, I wish they had at least done another season.

I swear two out of every three cars I see have those stickers. Floridians love sodium, I guess.

Yeah, they wring eight syllables out of a monosyllabic word. Inexcusable.

Man, you jest but I live in FL and can tell you for a fact that some shit like that would be gangbusters down here. Dudes in trucks jacked up so high you need a telescope to see the Salt Life sticker on the back would be pounding that stuff. As a promotion, some of the cans should contain a t-shirt, sleeveless of…

Oh man, an ex-girlfriend talked me into going to see this band called He's My Brother She's My Sister a few years back and it was just hipster critical mass. They had the giant bass drum, but instead of playing it they laid it down and a girl put on tap shoes and danced on it. They definitely weren't trustworthy.…

I can see that. Plus I feel like if the song were a tangible object it would have owls and handlebar mustaches all over it.

To me it's all the same dump, just with different notes of sulfur and coriander in the farts. If these guys had been around 17 years ago it would've been bleach blonde highlights, tribal tattoos, and some Sugar Ray sounding bullshit. Now it's caveman beards, boat anchor tattoos (Unsinkable, brah!), and this buttbarf.

Man, I don't know what it is but that song just makes me inexplicably angry.

I can't speak to Stouffer's but Celeste has definitely been fuckin up lately.

Freschetta used to do one with a sauce stuffed crust that was pretty great, especially with just regular ass Budweiser. I'm not a proud man.

Zakk Wylde probably wrote it to get Ozzy to quit sitting around wiping boogers on his sweatpants so they could tour and buy more sleeveless vests.

It had one pimpin ass theme song going for it too. When Gramma and Pawpaw would watch it I would get her cane and dance a little softshoe right there in the living room when I was 9 or so. Only problem was it wasn't a cool cane, it was one of the real deal aluminum ones that has a plate with four little legs so it…

Maybe not going from the kitchen to you, but from eating it to toilet-bound Fartmageddon, it sure is.

Oh, we'd already done the first hooker right of passage by then, on a cold Ohio day behind the Skyline Chili. My dad went in and had a four way. She only charged $80 so we went and saw Kickboxer after.

I swear there already was an actress named Victoria Justice back in the 80's. Maybe they're rebooting people now too.

I remember my dad rented the original on VHS when I was a kid and the cassette itself was red. He thought it got lost but I copped that mother and broke the tab so I could record Headbanger's Ball on a kickass red tape. He had to pay $100 to the video store. Sweet rebellion.

"Skip A Skip A Skip A Skip This"

It's basically Boondock Saints for theater kids.

Hey man, don't talk about Karmin and Foster The People that ah fuck it go ahead.