Told faux-documentary style in keeping with the novel's oral history premise? Sold!

Probably because of the Umbrella Corporation. Those guys just keep pushing zombie science forward.

World BORE Z!

I thought you spent all your free time researching Jeopardy! strategies!

People DVR The Price Is Right? That seems even odder than watching it live.

The awkwardly named but always insightful "Belistrator"! I love that segment. Unfortunately, he only does it after wins. I'd love to see him break down what went wrong in a loss. Belichick is super-engaging when he's geeking out on football.

If I had to live in Buffalo I'd be righteously fucked up at 10am too.

I keep waiting for him to get stuck like a skipping record, "You're exactly right, Joe…right, Joe…right, Joe…right, Joe…right, Joe…

Man, everyone watches a lot more The Price is Right than I do. Is everyone on AV Club an unemployed shut-in? Or terminally obese and working from home like Homer in that one Simpsons episode?

At least they have the decency to stay away from Friday.

But Garappolo is very handsome! Houston likes their quarterbacks handsome.

I would've been interested to see what happened with Osweiller if he'd stayed in Denver. He looked sharp filling in for Manning last year and he'd still have that great defense. He took the money with the shitty team instead of a little less money with a very good team. We might be singing his praises if he'd…

"We were twelve."

"Please tell me I remind you of Steve Jobs. I'm like Steve, right?"
—Tim Cook

Pre-House of Cards but post his excellent guest spot on The Shield!

It was a March release that wasn't a very big hit. I don't think it was even in the conversation when Oscar time rolled around.

Oh yeah! I didn't see Lights Out. I was getting those two movies mixed up in my head all summer.

Lights Out Don't Breathe was also extremely disappointing. It was such a great setup then it tried to be more than it was for some reason. (At least you get to watch Stephen Lang drink semen, I guess.)

God, Candyman is so great. Do people still watch that one? Seems like it's not as fondly remembered as some other 90s horror favorites (Scream for instance).

It's also got a fun performance by Asshole Ty Burrell, badass Ving Rhames being badass, and a baby being shot in the face. I'm for it!