FORK PITCHFUCK!

If you noticed the hand symbolism and what Burger was trying to do with it the first time through, congratulations! Maybe you don't need to be reading a column titled "Internet Film School." Doesn't mean other people didn't find it instructive.

Except, of course, Dispatches and The Short-Timers are pretty fantastic books in their own regard, even if they did make an even better film.

My copy of True Romance doesn't have a Tarantino commentary, damn it. But that sounds really interesting, someone who would become a force of a director in his own right breaking down another skilled director's work.

It was an accidental grab that I just couldn't let go to waste. I sort of threw it up there as the main image in the draft stage, thinking they'd switch it up, but thankfully for all involved, it slipped through!

She's like the Ann Veal of cinema.

It was the worst film I've seen in the past decade, yes. It was the compelling quality of its awfulness that convinced me to 1) continue watching it, instead of turning it off, and 2) write about it.

Kaufman writes like he's the only person in the world to ever have taken a film class.

It bears mentioning that the third film was directed by Alfonso Cuarón, which has A LOT to do with why it's the best in the series.

I didn't write that review, wouldn't have given it that score. MYSTERY SOLVED!

I've mentioned this in previous columns, that film is a collaborative art, but that for the purposes of analysis, I'm abiding by the auteur theory for the most part and crediting the director. That's not to say that DOP doesn't have input, obviously, only that it's impossible to determine without using examples from…

Despite writing for the site where the "I am aware of all Internet traditions" started, I'm not actually aware of all them. The blame for this falls squarely in my court.

Well, whatever you think of me, have no fear — everyone here is a fan of your substantial contributions to the conversation.

That's a lot of words you wrote about an article you didn't read. I'm sure you make someone really very proud.

First, I hope it comes across that I'm not knocking television.

I think saying that television comedy doesn't meet the standards set by Raising Arizona is both a little unfair to television comedy — not to mention the rest of the Coen brothers' comedic films.

I'm not sure who "they" are, but I can make an argument that Winter Soldier is a loving, brilliant near-parody of '70s espionage films in the same way that "Fistful of Paintballs" is a loving, brilliant near-parody of its source material. It's what the Russo brothers do best — they identify those aspects of beloved…

Tim Van Patten's another television director my argument would hold for: Rome, Boardwalk Empire, etc.

Other than long shots to establish a scene, everything is medium shot, close shot.

I am a journalist by day, which is why I went answered it myself.