Those waffles are over-done.

The proper technique is: burn marshmallow, eat off burnt bits, return to fire, burn marshmallow, eat off burnt bits, repeat until you realize you don't have enough left for a s'more, start new marshmallow.

OH MY GOD SCHOOL BULLY "BOB" IS ABRAHAM FROM THE WALKING DEAD!

Oh, and the scene where he just effortlessly deflates the "old school bully trying to start some shit" without violence or the threat of violence (even though it's obvious he could kill him in an instant).

Any time I read the name "Jenny Slate" I can't help but think of sweaty, desperate Jeremy Piven. It's not her fault, it's mine.

One of my favorite little moments from the movie: Martin's encounter with his old, still vaguely disappointed English teacher. I had a bunch of those.

"OMG this looks so 1981!"

Next they're going to tell us that that whole bell thing is bullshit. They just ring it randomly to frighten people.

Every year our housemate buys a couple boxes of the peppermint Joe Joe's and chocolate dips them because he's a mad lunatic.

Did people actually think there were a bunch of Trader Joe's factories scattered around the country churning out nothing but Trader Joe's brand food? Really?

If you feel you need to be doing something with your hand (scootching in for a wedding photo or something) I've always thought a hand in the middle of the back to be the least obtrusive.

1997 was a weird cultural blind-spot for me. I was in my late twenties working 40 hours a week, my girlfriend was finishing up her undergrad degree, and we were constantly having to move as we kept renting houses that our landlords decided to sell or move back into. Even reading the lists of the best movies of the…

Sad to see someone succumb to their bass impulses.

It was the first blu-ray we rented after we got our big-ass HDTV and we were hugely underwhelmed. The visuals were fine, I guess, but the aggressive stupidity of the movie itself was off-putting.

Totino's is a few notches down from what we normally look for in a frozen pizza … but I could straight up murder a dozen of their pizza rolls.

You wouldn't think Direct TV would have a channel like Fusion limited to its upper-tier channel packages … and yet here we are. Unfortunate.

Sort of like how I'd never just straight up eat a raw tomato, but can guzzle marinara sauce and pico de gallo by the quart.

I love guac, but don't care for avocados. It's weird.

I'm going to make me a t-shirt with just that phrase.

Personally, I'm sick of Hollywood trying to turn something as nebulous as "lack of ambition" into some kind of fatal personality … you know … thing … whachacallit …