You chose…wisely.

You know damn well that Laserblast is better than all of them.

I have Leonard Maltin's 2015 movie guide for pooping time. And I can tell you, the bathroom is the perfect place for that book, and the quality of its ratings.

They're not what they seem.

I like the demon holding his tail up because he's on the shitter.

I hope you're right.

Remove this or any other event from the past six months and transplant it into the news two years ago, and it would be the story of the decade.

I don't understand a fucking thing anymore.

That's a more articulate way of saying how I feel about Zaius.

My pronunciation: Worstesher
My wife's pronounciation: War-Chester-Shire (as she looks for the pained expression on my face).

Tim Roth!

I loved this episode, so I must be taking crazy pills.

GeoCities has risen from the grave!

I hate Facebook so much.

I like that this series has a nuanced view of its villains. I have often said that my favourite Republican is Dr. Zaius, but only because of his vehement opposition to humanity as a species. He may be a villain, but he has a point. The same goes for Dr. Hasslein, who is 100% correct that Zaius and Cornelius, and…

The book is very different from the movie. Or any of the Ape movies, really. It's totally its own thing.

The world is destroyed in an orgy of violence, and an Ape Lady murders a chimp baby before she and her husband are gunned down by a government official. You know…for the kids!

Insurrection and Nemesis convinced this die-hard Star Trek fan that the series needed to die for a while. I'm still not sure it deserves to be revived.

It was shot in someone's back yard. That lot was owned by Fox, and it is literally someone's backyard with a bunch of treehouses. Also, the fact that the most impressive item in the mutant human arsenal was a school bus is telling of the budget crunch they were working under.

Also, human on ape sexuality was most explicitly implied in that film. Not even an Ape can resist the vacant charm of Wahlberg.