Peppa Pig.

Our second kid was a surprise. Or as the doctor called it "a spontaneous pregnancy",

Sandwich thread.

Congratulations.

Even as a child watching this show, I knew that Markie Post was the most beautiful woman to ever appear on tv.

It's OK. We all still have "oh my God, he's even stupider than I thought" moments.

Upmarket as the markets go down.

I would like to introduce the Old Grimey OG package.

Delivered to your front door!

How could any body be so gullible to buy a bunch of crap from that guy who runs casinos right into bankruptcy?

So you missed the joke of Blazing Saddles?

Youwantpancakes!

My cousin is one of them. I stopped talking to him a year ago because he was crying about how unfair it is that female circumcision is illegal in the US, but male circumcision is encouraged.

It was just a fun idea that pissed off a bunch of babies. It would be like a theater having a showing of Stars Wars with everybody in costume. That sounds fun. If you dont have a costume, go to a different showing. But then these assholes had to make it into a thing.

The thing about Scarface is that it is a terrible movie. It's completely unwatchable if you are not drunk and/or high.

The problem was that tickets sold out before he even heard about it. Nobody talked about the Fight Club midnight showing.

But he will claim to have chosen a life of abstinence.

Just wait until the benefit concert when she is dancing with Shaun and Bez, and Ian and Mani.

Can you stop by my house tomorrow morning? I need a good shave in the morning. I'm not crazy about my razor. But I figure your edgy humor should do the job.

No. But that's where you are. You're there!