The idea that Vladimir Putin could get something out of watching Dr. Strangelove is hysterical.

So, what's everyone's favorite heart interest story? THAT'S the real question.

Gosh that would be a fuckin shame.

Just an hour or so ago, getting off the subway, I wondered to myself, for no reason at all, "Did they ever make any more of those silly Narnia live action movies?"

Megyn Kelly and Trump have a lot in common, in that they're both people who are impressive if you've never once been impressed in your entire life.

I'm still waiting for proof Megyn Kelly has any talents.

Ah, Megyn Kelly, the shallow person's idea of an in-depth reporter. What is she notable for other than Trump's awkward attempts at flirting during that debate?

Ah, sadly, according to Wikipedia, as of 2011, the rights reverted to O'Reilly. A SHAME!

Totally true story: I used to have a fairly well-connected agent who I'd beg to help me get the rights to THOSE WHO TRESPASS, because it might be the funniest novel ever committed to the page. After about a week or two of seemingly ignoring me on it, he let me know that Mel Gibson's company had picked up the option,…

I feel like the dankest Alex Jones gets is the basement he dwells in.

He's the face that runs the place, but that place is a dank pool where you eat cheap hamburgers and cry over losing your parental rights for being insane and then trying to cover it up by saying you're a "performance artist."

A lot can be said of Alex Jones, but he clearly does want none.

While we, the Fans, are clearly benefiting from all this deep entertainment, I do feel extremely sorry for Jones' kids, who will clearly never, ever have good, decent lives.

Find personally find it unlikely that anyone who'd follow Donald Trump, a man only famous for being a corrupt businessman, would be a complete rube.

I wrote a story in 10th grade about how the Pope framed OJ Simpson, and only White House aide Vince Foster could stop them. The teacher was amused to the point where he showed the headmaster (it was an all-boys Catholic school, alas), who was…less than amused, and had to explain to me why having the pope as a villain…

Yeah, I think metal HAS addressed its Nazi problem, and discovered it's relatively okay with it.

The greatest musical hoax of all time, clearly, is when it was revealed that country superstar/ WWF Intercontinental Champion Jeff Jarrett's smash hit "With My Baby Tonight" was in fact actually sung by the Road Dogg Jesse James.

I find it hard to believe a Northern European who spends all day on the internet is an anti-semite.

Important spoiler request: Does the movie end with Fassbinder joylessly looking into the camera, walking slowly towards it, intoning "I'm an assassin. This is my creed."

If it doesn't end with Fassbinder walking slowly towards the screen saying, "I'm an Assassin. This is my creed," I want the money I'm not spending on this movie back.