I want to drink her breast milk.

Tonight on Louie.

*Russell Crowe 10 minute monologue* *Steadicam shot*

You're not watching TV, mongo. You are watching a video game on a TV.

Xbox on……. bitch. *High fives himself*

Anything would probably turn her on at this rate.

Shut up Meg.

Must be the other, more dimwitted, Heisenberg.

I'm not your see, buddy. I'm not your buddy, see?

Shut up Meg.

Hiddleston, Cumberbatch, Garfield and Pattinson must be great actors because I don't know any American actor that age that would get the roles they're getting with faces like that.

I think you need to look up what repeating means and stop using it so arbitrarily.

The oracle has spoken.

Nick Offerman - every hipster's favorite comedic actor.

It really looks like they can't tell, sorry. :(

He's English so he must be good though, right? Like he must be Shakespearean and shit!

Walt Junior, what have I told you about staying off my laptop?

Price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. I repeat: price check on Vagiclean, aisle five. That's Vagiclean. We've got a customer down here with a full-on fallopian fungus. She's baking a loaf of bread and I think it's sourdough.

English actor who nobody has ever heard of getting plum role as an American icon shocker.

Challenge Louie CK to do a joke that doesn't involve something tasteless.