Can you be a WASP and German? Mixed maybe, but I really just attribute it to British Protestant.

I don't even know what that movie was. Why was Noah fighting with rock monsters? Why was he so bad ass? It's like these re-imagining of mythologies that throw in sick, bad ass parkour moves and Gods cut from marble, who also happen to fight some creature that really wasn't in that story.

I think the caboose in Human Centipede begs to differ.

See I figured all fruit was inherently Kosher. My Shoprite up in NE Philly has a fairly large Jewish population and they advertised "Kosher Strawberries" as though there was a special process.

Nah they banned the deathsticks in the 2nd movie.

Give him a thick Philly accent too.

Ahh Saw. I swore they were saying Sol Guerrera during the movie and thought how lazy it was to name him literally Star Wars.

Better than Porkins. He was a distance swimmer when he started at Republic Academy. #demabs

The merkin budget alone

Do a full review on Yelp about Melania. Make sure that it's clear she was bad in the sack, just laying there, yet at the same time, was so happy you had strong masculine hands. One and half stars it.

Only the finest of MLP meat in these burgers. Dat Ass indeed.

Who else wakes up (doesn't go to bed) at 3AM and tweets out random shit like that? Cokeheads.

I still think the one on Guy Fieri's Times Square one was far more scathing, but at least this is timely.

I think we're all on that list. I imagine his first order to Homeland Security is to quickly scour messageboards for anyone talking poorly about me. Knowing the NSA, they have that list ready to go.

Remember he hates the rich, whatever the hell that means. I think he hates people in general, so the fact he hates them but can't really understand the poor ties into the whole thing. He's just so about Trump he can't see through the BS.

He's always good but I think she was just expecting him to play "attractive asshole" which has been his milieu since he did that Ned and Stacey show.

Which is funny since she is usually bad. Either she held back a bit or was able to really get this character.

So is this part two of Conan being on YouTube?

Especially the ones he did in 2001. Those were spot on.

I really was hoping this was a reboot of that Vin Diesel film. Maybe it can be some frightening Malkovich like thing, where he plays all the roles, baby, boss, wife…all with Vin Diesel's face.