Thanks to your avatar, I'm reading in Homestar's voice, rather than Elmer Fudd. It still works.

I can confirm that video was exactly what I was thinking.

Jaime giving the ol' Selmy side-eye when he delivers that line. Or maybe it's just seeing him dressed like that with the short hair.

What if he had to play against someone who was lacin' em up one last time, playin' the game the right way, just havin' fun out there? Against some sort of … gunslinger? Do you think a guy like that could show touchdown tom a thing or two?

Absolutely, Spencer's my favorite sportswriter out there, especially his longform stuff.

Making fun of Indianapolis is always a good time. For more Bois-on-Indianapolis violence, see also:

It really is the Perpetual Hype Machine, isn't it? It's a show that keeps its own lights on, first law of thermodynamics be damned.

Yeah, I'm a pretty big sports fan, but most of the sports writing I enjoy reading is the ancillary stuff. I love the NFL (not quite as much as college football, though), but I'm way more excited about a new Breaking Madden* column by Jon Bois than I am whatever officially sanctioned talking points MMQB is…

History does not relate if it was at the Winners' Denny's or not.

According to one of the articles in the montage, the "Ass-Crack Bandit" name was the result of a 12-hour summit at Denny's.

In the revival Roland will have a horn on his belt, though.

I was picturing Bruce McGill. But sometimes I picture Stacy Keach when I'm trying to picture Bruce McGill.

But we're telling phone stories!

Too Cute!: Varmint Edition

THE A.V. CLUB

With three celebrities on each team, there's almost always someone you can really enjoy in each episode. A few of the episodes (drunk Amy Poehler one comes to mind) were really good. It's sloppy fun.

The visual's not great either. Think Indy pushing the cobwebs away near the end of Last Crusade, just before the sawblades.

Elected is a strong word. He became governor after finding the golden baby in his slice of king cake.

I murdered a man and assumed his identity to get out of my student loans, but it turns out that asshole took seven years of classes at the University of Phoenix and didn't even get a degree.

You mean the Peeles and Keys?