I don't know what you just said, but I'm suddenly horny.

Sounds like my wedding night.

You're right about hockey. When I was a kid, there was NOTHING like the sound of the crowd when the home team ALMOST put the puck in the net. Somehow better than an actual goal. That deep collective "hoh!" is unmatchable…and it's also impossible to really truly feel from a tv in your living room, which kinda…

Shouldn't they just have a banner that says 18-1? Own the glory and the heartbreak both. 16-0 just intensifies the heartbreak by leaving it unsaid buy heavily implied.

Yeah, even with the Colts going right back to playoff caliber, it's not the same. Those playoff losses in Foxboro killed me back when, but last weekend it was just…well, the better team won, oh well. Maybe if we get back to genuine Super Bowl contention…

Wow. You basically just distilled Patriots fandom into fewer than 20 words. Impressive.

You can't fool me. Sports heartbreaks never go away. Even the Manning years, with a Super Bowl win thrown in, can't stop me from dying inside when I just THINK of this.

That reminds me, my wife wants me to stop at the store on the way home.

Me too, me too. I have come to retroactively forgive the announcers of my youth for referring to the Colts as "Baltimore" well into the 90s. (But not Raymond Berry, who was doing it on purpose.)

In Mercury's case, because he wants to know if you're in the market for cocaine.

Bucky Dent? His most famous play is hitting a go-ahead home run in 78, and they went on to win the World Series. What's his gorilla?

I can see skipping past the commercials, but don't you miss the time between plays? I mean, in a close game, especially in big games, the tension between the plays is part of the experience, right?

And take the Red Sox with you!

I'd thumb you down, but I'm keeping my heart warm with the memory of the colts' comeback from 21-3 down in the AFC championship game a few months before.

Also, Adderall is handy for the nickname: Seadderall Seahawks.

For maximum boston irritation, always include Buckner.

As a colts fan, he's made me deeply conflicted. I know I should, and still kinda do, hate the pats, but I admire his divergence from tactical orthodoxy when it's wise, and have come to kinda love his mumbly indifference to stupid questions. I want him to fail, yet his success seems necessary somehow. My head nearly…

That's the thing about the tuck rule. It detracts from (and yes, helped make possible) arguably the greatest field goal in the history of the sport.

Weird euphemism for "naked woman," but whatever floats your boat.

You should be AT the games, where you often find yourself just sitting, while the players are just standing, all just waiting for the tv commercial to be over.