"You can barely see them nipples."

We're all special little snowflakes.

Nobody likes me, waaahhh.

Crack House Hunters

And the couples always act pissed.

Anybody remember when Star Jones took over for a season? It was horrific.

I listen to that first Rutles album almost as often as I do The Beatles catalog. He's standing on the shoulders of giants here, but Neil Innes is a genius.

Maybe that's also some of the appeal. The fantasy of not having to haggle with some asshole who wants more for his house than it's worth or not getting the house …

And that fucking closet joke EVERY GODDAMNED episode!

Great background noise if you're doing something else, though. You can check in and out and not miss much.

"Lisa is a full-time nurse in the city and Brad likes to play the drums."

Location, location, uh … how does it go?

My wife read an article years ago that the show's dirty little secret is that the couples already have their house picked out and then pretend look at two other houses. That's how they always agree on which one to buy.

They have that show, it's called The First 48.

Oh yeah, especially when it's an unmarried couple.

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

It's gust so hard …

Joddammit.

Another asshole born on second who thinks he hit a double.

She didn't even finish her term!