I had to chase you down to say where have you been? We don't get your brand of love over on Gawker anymore. :(

Okay, honestly that is good information. But when I started to do the oil cleanse with castor, the warning labels said significant internal distress and website warnings said it could induce horrible vomiting. I was scared to even get it on my lips. I stopped using it because it seemed I got diarrhea everytime I did…

America. Fuck yeah!

Call him and do the super fast talk thing "NoI'mbreakingupwithyousothere"

NONONONO it can induce horrible vomiting and diarrhea if taken internally.

Check yourself, cheetos.

I want them to play hot potato with the can while playing Yakity Sax.

I have repeatedly relayed to my sons that I do not want a funeral. I want to be cremated and my ashes put in a coffee can. Then I want to them to use part of my life insurance money on buying booze and greasy finger foods and spend an afternoon telling embarrassing stories about me.

Lol now that takes some skill, notice how hard she is trying to avoid looking at the taint.

I had that trouble when I ran too. I felt cheated.

No worries, and I totally get it. Several years ago I was quite a chubster and could no longer take the stress on my joints to do HIT. I started doing water aerobics and water zumba. I hated myself and was embarrassed to get in the pool in a swim suit too. But if you go during the day, it's mostly older ladies, and…

So you are saying that is a bad thing. I may need to rethink my apple balancing act at the range.

WAAAAAT? I just love kitchen stuff. I am going there now.

I used to get their catalog and drool. Flavored sea salt? Balsamic vinegar? Authentic salami? I just died and went to heaven. They don't have that stuff out here in Podunkville. That's fer them fancy Noo Yorkers and Califernins.

I love all the gee gaws at Williams Sonoma. I'm always shaking my head thinking "rich people get all the best kitchen shit."

Not bottom, but def on the edges. Okay, that is acceptable. Now go forth and bake, and make sure there is enough for everyone. Well, enough for me anyway.

He steals every scene in every movie he has ever made. If he did a commercial touting a bleach drink I would buy it because he told me to. "Oh what Tom, you need me to writhe in agony? If you say so."

You can go with a moscato d'asti. Not champagne, but sweet, fuzzy and fun to drink.

Wait, Tom Hardy is in it? I've had it in my queue for a while, but was like meh. Now I will have to give it a try. Tom makes me weak and jelly like in my insides.

Yes. They had some gifs as well and a woman posing with a cut up dog and skinning a cat. How fucking jolly. They are still on the thread, recommending posts for everyone that talks about it.