Yes, I've been called a stupid dumb bitch before by my oldest regarding who stole my reading glasses (hint: they were on my head).

Came for the dick, leaving disappointed :(

YASSSSS! Apparently sometimes Satan can even be nice. Such a nice fallen angel.

It's a joke, lighten up Francis. Paultoes is good people.

You are sooo dork sided. OH MY GOD DORK SIDE!

Pffft, my cat will beat up your dog and then steal all your stuff and sell it on eBay.

Is that a Scottish Fold? That is so freaking adorable, I want to hoard all the fluffy kittehs.

I feel you. I've been divorced for 17 years. While I was still recovering from that unexpected hit, he had already knocked up the next one. The pain is too recent to get your head around and feels like it will never end. But once it's done, you will see that asshole did you a favor. Warm thoughts and hope it gets…

Much puppy. So dawwww. Wow.

Release the hounds!

Mulva?

Delores?

You're welcome. My work is done here.

Michael K calls her "our lady of Cheetos" because he is such a saucy bitch.

I giggled when you said "actual butthole" because I am a 10 year old boy.

Yes it does. I have a GED in law, and it states that I own everything I can steal. Especially tiaras. I am surprised you didn't know about that. *tsk*

Especially that jumpsuit she wore in the second movie. I would have paid money to see a flaming arrow shot at the designer who thought that was a good idea.

I twerk in my chair and do jazz hands while my boss is in the next room. My spidey senses generally give me a warning when I am about to be busted.

I'm sure my invitation got lost in the mail. Brad's mom owns the store next to one of my offices, so we are officially best friends once removed.

"Should be able to identify potentially dangerous situations" whose job is it to teach them?