Here now to protect Watson’s blind side instead will be Panthers washout Matt Kalil, who can block about as good as your dad can at the moment.

Choose your second, then, and I will choose mine. I will meet you on the beach at the stroke of 10, and I will have satisfaction, sir.

also the Maryland flag sucks

Is Dundalk seriously as much of a nightmare are you and the whole article makes it out to be?  I legit no nothing about the place but now I really want to know more.

In NYC I’ve heard it called the “junkie nod,” and it is truly gravity-defying. Extra points awarded for doing it within inches of an incoming subway train. The drunks usually fall onto the train and bounce off.

Was about to say - junkies aren’t getting anywhere near M&T. Majority of attendees at the games are from the county, and they think anyone in the city with a slight lean is a heroin junkie.

Amazingly, the fact that he’s a murderer isn’t even the worst thing about him.

Thanks for ending this one with a “my dad” email where the dad didn’t die from a horrible illness, desert his family, or live the last few decades of his life in quiet desperation. 

Sure, I had to explain to my dad what the “dope fiend lean” was as we watched a heroin addict fall over in the parking lot while the completely indifferent event staff did nothing about it.

There’s a reason, trust me. 

“What are you talking about? It was a GREAT idea to draft Daniel Jones!!!”

-Philly, Dallas, & Washington Fans

If all the racist, misogynist, nativist, white supremacist pieces of MAGA garbage actually won every front of the culture war, the males of the species would all be emulating Ben Roethlisberger.

For the remainder of the preseason, Nagy will make Long barf on the exact same spot of the field until he gets it right.

I got offered a lucrative job. which was way more lucrative seeing as you could buy a mansion with indoor pools and stuff for like $250K. My wife did not want to move to Tennessee. A few years later the guy with my job was being interviewed by federal agents with his boss in jail for a few decades.

Two lines from this WYTS that cement my everlasting allegiance to Drew:

I lost count of the number of jerseys of former players. Trotter was a particularly nice touch.

Preseason should be over. These fans are clearly in midseason form.

I appreciate the look of resignation (or maybe it’s just the after-effects of a concussion) on the victim when the third guy slaps him and takes the hat.

Not sure what’s so special about this. Just looks like Thursday in Philly to me.

Hell yeah, we’re in mid season form already baby. GO BIRDS