“Sir, it appears that the likable, fun Astros might make the World Series.”

Goddamnit, just write the damn pages already.

So who was the guy that used 11 that made it Okay to say that everybody’s just using ten?

Look, when you spend so much time worrying about Hillary’s emails, sometimes a racial slur just pops out.

i, too, hate it when i accidentally do a public racism.

As myself and numerous other vets have pointed out, our oath is “to support and defend the Constitution of the United States against all enemies, foreign and domestic.” It has nothing to do with flag, or the National Anthem, or public fucking sporting events. People who want to make this “about the troops” are…

I agree whole heartedly “This is a very good take.” - Kalvin Durand

I think we found our villain for the Space Jam sequel

Today in Republican cognitive dissonance: Two guys are beautifully tackling one another and somehow it’s the straight, married guy trying to stop it who’s ruining everything.

New word for the 2018 OED

Brilliant! Now I see our strategy for stopping their missile tests.

Suicide prevention hotline:

Sued by DOJ for refusing to rent to black people, ultimately settling the case (despite “never settling”), then sued and settles again for failing to live up to original settlement.

ALL the words? That seems excessive. If I only plan on leaving a 50 word comment, I really shouldn’t have to read more than 50 words of the article. It’s only fair.

I mean whom amongst us?

“Yes Osama Bin Laden is bad, but we must not forget that other people are also bad.”

Or possibly the Tednugenti or Kidrockawa.

I see no difference between this and a slugger starting down a bp coach and flexing after taking him yard.

One time I pranked a shut in. I replaced all her appliances, which is harder than you think, but if you dig a tunnel under the basement you can build a trap door right under the washing machine big enough to get a refrigerator in and out of the place. The replacement had the hinges on the opposite side from the…