This article is a bit unfair, I think he’s made some great calls, like his “And it is all over!” when that one meathead tapped or his “And it is all over!” when that other dude got knocked out or his “And it is all over!” when a title fight went the full 25.

Whatever this period has been spanning the Bush years until now has been characterized by people who are extremely bad at their jobs doing very, very well despite (?) that fact. No one has been so committed to not only being bad at their job, but somehow, despite being on the front row for most of the essential…

If there were ever nine words that more succinctly summed up a career, I haven’t found them.

How to tell someone is an asshole.

My solution was to get something much slower to drive, and then to allow the slow into my blood to calm me down, it took about 3 years, but I’m a much calmer driver.

I take a few deep breaths and remind myself I am a rational human being and not this person:

Great work, Ballaban. Really tremendous stuff. However, I must say that you left out the most crucial dramatization of nuclear war that currently exists on the Internet.

Thank goodness he knows about the cyber though. Otherwise we’d be in real trouble.

Can we permanently retire the phrase “have your cake and eat it too”. Because literally NOONE who uses it understands what it actually means.

This Kinja sounds really smart if you don’t think about it for more than 10 seconds

Prudent of publications to not buy and publish the photos. Publishing images of people in bed without their consent has bankrupted publications before.

Well, their message worked, the man is now a proud member of the Korean Kar Klub.

I can’t find anything in any of the reports that say the two individuals had canes or guide dogs, so “how did the thieves know the cars owner was black?” I’m going to go with, they fucking saw him.

In other words, a faithful representation of North American pop culture.

I can imagine the conversation that led up to this.

Why We Fight: They’re Always After Our Lucky Charms.

90 pshhhh? What’s that, metric?

Dammit! Another food “article” from the biased Gawker crowd. I don’t come to a military sub-blog for you to force your liberal food opinions on me. Leave that crap for www.skillet.lifehacker.com.

“Anyone know why there’s a live raccoon in the glove box? And a no-longer-alive badger in the trunk? Also what’s with the- I HAVE AN UPDATE ON THE SITUATION IT TURNS OUT THE BADGER ISN’T DEAD OH GOD”

Kinda guy you could grab a beer whole buncha Vicodin with.