Imagine waking up in the morning, putting on your best pair of lime green shorts, your favorite adidas shirt, and turning your adjustable hat backwards, before looking yourself in the mirror and feeling like that not only is this good, but getting so confident looking like that that you decide you’re going to go slap…

It’s great news that the cops kept their composure and didn’t commit any “shooting fouls”

or that he “fears retaliation”

This story keeps getting better and better. Deadspin should embed a reporter there for a week to do a really deep dive into these guys lives.

Not recorded in the body cam footage were the words to his partner as he jumped back in the cruiser.

However, I would set the hardest pick known to man on this guy.  

Unlike his buddy Trump, he doesn't like to get wet.

I think it’s great! I’m glad the refs didn’t take issue with a young All-Star getting his game on and get him fed to the rules when he hit the ground running. Yes, he’s looking kinda dumb with his finger and his thumb in the shape of an L on his forehead. But the years start coming and they don’t stop coming, so it…

Things I Would Do In Putin’s Russia, Ranked
1) Get hit by a bus (Russian drivers are crazy).
...
Last) Invade the pitch of the World Cup final in the name of Pussy Riot (I’m a coward).

Those four had enough speed to make the USMNT starting XI

No, just not funny.

Yeah, it’s a little white. It’s Chuck Berry, not Elvis, Elvis isn’t even close.  Even though they didn’t directly compete against each other except for some exhibitions, the Negro Leagues should be recognized as a bona fide major league, so there was no reason to leave someone like Josh Gibson off the list.  And it’s…

Chef: MY MOM

Imagine having this much energy to be an asshole on the internet for no reason

Casually refers to Dykstra as a ‘whore’.
Implies the only POSSIBLE explanation for this story is a ‘career boost’.
Openly wishes for more porn over truth-telling about abuse.
Concludes the only way to be ‘genuine’ is to 100% confirm his narrative.

Wow, you seem like a pretty genuinely awful person. I was going to say more, but no that suffices. You’re awful.

Go fuck yourself.

You’re a fucking idiot.

“People arent allowed to speak publicly about how someone hurt them because the person who hurt them might get hurt.”

Well no, it can’t really be any color. Green and blue work because they don’t appear in any normal human skin tones. Whether actors are very light or very dark complexioned, we all have a spectrum of colors and tones to our skin, except green and blue. Unless you want the actors to be see-through, best to stick…