The Chinese must have forgotten that Thursday is Italian BMT day, not American ROV day.

CHARGE YOUR FUCKING PHONE

Terrible play by Goff. He saw Sherman coming and was on the sideline. He’s a QB, not a power RB. Step the fuck out of bounds next time instead of powering through to get another yard.

That’s what they originally thought, but it turns out he was just playing dead.

Opossums are natures answer to the pesky problem of people taking their trash out at night without having the shit scared out of them.

It’s hard to imagine a more perfect mascot for Pennsylvania than a fucking opossum.

“Did I play Thursday Night Football, Too?” By Jared Goff and Jon Ryan - via the Players’ Tribune.

Man, Coach K is one terrible looking Santa.

Or not lose the ball like it just turned into one of the glowing stones from Temple of Doom

I’m not falling for this shit again. Let me guess, a kid died in his paws

He got concussed while scrambling for a 3-9 team, that was down 24-3, on a play that didn’t even count.

Poor Ryan. They knocked the h out of him.

Actually Jokic has made some very flashy passes

I think you meant:

“Can you hear me now?”

Not even a cold take, just an understood fact

Craig Sager was the only white man who could get away with dressing like the Bishop Don Magic Juan every single day. Legend.

This is a website that does lucrative business in “watch a person eat normal food for the first time” and can’t come up with a reasonable take on cereals. Asking deadspin about food is like playing the “is the dress gold or blue” with a blind person.

Northcutt: [rips apple in half]