I don’t think any of the Kardashians will ever become anything even remotely resembling an adult.

Kylie has already drank the kool-aid. Kendall has a shot at escaping.

An important fact has been lost in this pizza party debacle. Where are you ordering from?

It was just fluid that had accumulated in my chest cavity after the surgery. I had chest tubes to drain it, but there was still a lot left apparently after the tubes came out.

I don’t see what airplanes have to do with vagina beer.

I had an ingrown hair or sebaceous cyst on my ball sack. It looked like a plastic bb just under the skin. It was hard and I couldn’t pop it, and I really didn’t want to go to the doctor. If anyone was going to poke at my junk it was going to be me. So I ordered a set of x-acto knives off amazon and sterilized them in…

Umbrella size should be directly correlated to height.

You’re doing the lord’s work son.

I was recovering from lung surgery and went to get my stitches removed. The nurse practitioner had me lie down and took them out. They started to leak a little residual fluid that had been strapped by the stitches. A patch of gauze soaked it up and the nurse taped another one over it. No biggie. I sat up and put my…

You could make a good red ale if you get the timing right.

Madeiline’s take is the true and correct take.

I have a friend who sometimes won’t even wipe, but hop in the shower and just wash the shit off. It is one of the most disturbing confessions I’ve ever heard. He wasn’t even embarrassed about it.

Just show him the gif

This is the stuff dreams are made of.

A strong take is a surprising, but solid take. A hot take is just angry fumes from being a wrong piece of shit.

Enjoy

My biggest problem is how Jon Favreau has a career in Hollywood.

Hahahahaha, good April Fools joke.

I loved those balls. You could actually get a good grip on them so I could throw them MUCH harder than a rubber kickball. Plus they’d usually curve in ways that threw people off. They’re easy to catch with your chest, but if you’re not throwing below the waist then you don’t know how to play dodgeball.

Yes, it’s entirely because of her body type. I don’t think there’s anything classier, or more legitimate about her body, it’s just that fashion designers like using skinny girls because the clothes hang better on them.