This is really one of those golden opportunities for me. I mean, what if I call and we really hit it off? I’m just saying what if MY call is the ONE CALL he answers out of thousands and we vibe. I feel like we would vibe, me and Jimmy Butler the professional basketball star. It would probably start slow. Like he’d…

Those guys are mean, between the two of them, there’s at least one dick.

*Waiting for the white tears to flow from twitter*

Some say that the highest praise a man can get from his father is to be told that he has got what it takes to be a man.

God bless your batshit father. I hope heaven has cars up there fast enough for him.

My Dad’s driving would put the Andrettis to shame. One July 4th weekend, he passed twenty four vehicles ( two passes of 12 each) on Minnesota Hwy 47, a two lane, in his 1968 Dodge Van. If I hadn’t survived the experience from the passenger seat, I wouldn’t have believed it. Many times he had his 1965 Olds F-85 up to…

Barron looks tall for his age. I hope Melania is miserable and they place poor Barron in a boarding school. The less he has to do with his family, the better.

Easily one of the worst calls by an official in any sport this century.

Honest question: Is it possible for Chris Paul to be the best PG of his generation but Stephen Curry to be the better basketball player? I’ve always thought about Curry being a SG that happens to play in the PG position.

Huh. I guess “Hey, wanna go to prom?” is too old-fashioned.

it was the drugs talking and your Dad wanted to name you Esther

I can’t speak to the black experience, obviously, but the honky convention of weird-ass spelling pisses me off to a degree.

I can’t even begin to fathom what the fart profile of that combination is.

Should she have argued at first? Probably not, though she did cover up the “problem” to comply. However....

I love playing with that thing.

You can kind of hear it too with that little oil demo (forgot the brand) at Autozone where you turn the gears and it demonstrates how well that particular brand coats the gears versus the “competition” (which I’m guess is corn oil based on how poorly it works).

YOUR WIFE IS A BIGFOOT, GUS.

Turn it over, put some aluminum foil on it, it'll do if you run out of plates.

This is fantastic information, thank you. A follow up?