If that stick was a Boston priest, the refs would have looked away.

Introducing our new Captain, of the vessel Titanic. All aboard for smooth sailing and probably a shit-ton of rape. It’s Roman fucking Polansky’s “Love Boat.”

Please focus your hate at Drew. You could be the next “funbag shits himself.”

If a soccer player succeeds, but no-one who speaks phonetically correct English sees it, did it actually happen? Asking for a snide friend.

I still don’t know which one of those guys is Spartacus.

A text: “Fuzzy says you can come pick up the money”.

Pedant, pedant...pedant pedant pedant

In fairness to Ol’ Rog, I’d sell my soul to Jerry Jones for less than $30M annually.

And suddenly, I saw...the hat. Blurry, but familiar. I then thought, WHO ACCESSORIZES A STACK OF BOOKS WITH A MAGA HAT? Total faux pas.

I know you’ve heard of “Spahn and Sain and pray for rain,” but I guess you’ve never heard the adage “Shields and Holland and maybe Quintana for three more months”?

Anybody who draws a pension (looking at you, my local tea party repub city and county officials) cannot truly believe in a free market, right? And yes, I am in Illinois.

I agree, and I don’t really care for soccer. In fact, this story about soccer is better than any moment of soccer I have ever witnessed.

Kids: If you run headfirst into people running headfirst at you (and/or go to college in Florida), this happens. You have been warned.

Done.

He should have gone after Arnold, maybe even gotten consent. I believe Gary Coleman is 57 years old in that photo.

Arnold actually ditched Dudley there, so...

Canada losing at hockey is like me being out drank by a Mormon. Humiliating, and possibly an indicator of a larger, looming problem.

Worth every fucking penny. Pay the ladies!

Goddamn polite Canadians. Makes me sick. Enjoy your single-payer healthcare and low rates of violent crimes, losers!

Please, please keep in mind that you would be talking about the least-liked presidential candidate in the history of the United States, but for the birth of Donald Trump.