Just so we're clear, the guy in the middle wanted to be certain that not even a tenth of a cent was given.

You think you're mad? Jim Ross just keeps yelling "AUSTIN! AUSTIN! AUSTIN!" at his TV!

Miami Heat fans missed it too. Had to beat the traffic!

Florida...

Oh, you mean the one where Manu walked from near halfcourt and contact on Him occured on what can only generously be considered his 4th step?

If that doesn't work out he has his doctorate, right?

Suggested response from Delta Gamma's Social Decorum handbook:

Not really worthy. What do we expect when we ask a 19 year old beauty pageant lifer to measure in on economic policies. Yea, it's fun to laugh at. But did you look at those tits?

Damn, that guy has hops! (All over his jersey, and some on his pants.)

My favorite part of this video:

What a fuckin' lardass. I'm sure that's not the first chair he's broken. Good thing he's a Mets fan. Dude could stand to lose 90-100.

This is so true. If I ever found out a friend/co-worker/family member was a truther I'd not be able to think about them the same and I think it would significantly damage my relationship with them.

Now, now, we can coexist. There's no need to threaten me with violence.

Can you really blame him? Letting Bush take the fall hasn't failed him yet.

I don't know if Jagr as a fireman is really all that believable. The only hockey player I associate with repeatedly flashing red lights is Roberto Luongo.

My advice to Jake is to either go full paleo man - no electricity, lights, cars, porn, etc - or stop being such a fucking twat on that paleo bullshit.

A friend did the Paleo for about two months. After two months of potatoes and chicken and steamed artichokes and ridicule, he ate a XL pizza for breakfast and didn't look back.

Deep Frying does suck ultra mega ass. Most anything you want to deep fry can be done another way. My wife's Thai grandmother, for instance, pan fries her egg rolls in a half-inch or so of oil. Tastes great, and forces you to work in smaller batches and pay more attention.

You monster.

Needs Siracha.