I don't understand the surge (heh!) in incest porn. Truly bizarre.

Oh, hell no.

*studio audience goes apeshit*

I wanna bow n' arrow!

What would be the end game there? Chinese trying to trick us into thinking they're dumb, then take over the planet?

Shoulda been one season and done IMO.

"Twitter egg-levels of posturing"

Huh. I gotta get me one of those.

Doesn't matter, Chinese market will eat it up.

The fidget spinner thing is super perplexing. They're selling them at the convenience store for $10-$50+

I was gonna create a Jai Worthington disqus account but I got so bored just typing those two words together that I abandoned the idea.

Huh, a director's wish makes for a great Newswire.

Goddamn avocado toast is to blame!

Heyyyy, my glasses!

Give the ushers a good cardio workout

Duh, the jocks run the HR dept

Can't tell if the pee is a neg or pos attribute.

And extra $$ for guac? Fuck youuuuu

Yeah, you're right, headline, 'cause I won't be seeing any of these.

No Mendehlson, no play.