Makes sense. Did you see Tom Jane's haircut on the Expanse? lololololol

Spoiler alert!

Good to hear! I'll keep on pitching my duck dynasty erotic fan fiction script to everyone in town!

Lazy millennials, ooooh, they make me so mad!

"Want to join me and my family for dinner?"

Cost him his head! Stupid Sean Bean, never learns.

It's on syfy, the only dick you're gonna see is the main actor.

Jacob's Ladder remake?!

Master. MASTER.

MOAB, baby, yeaaaahhhhh

Pardon me while I style my hair with this Depp hair gel.

Fuck!

It is friday, yet I am depp-ressed.

Really? How bout a sentient flying taco that travels the globe, dropping candy to small children and letting them know that "sharing is caring"?

Ah, missed it

Surprised we haven't seen a Newswire regarding his "educational" tour.

*counts on fingers*

What, you want me to sell some art? A boat? Fine, I'll do it! What? I'd still be broke? What do you want from me?!

What cheekbones? I see no cheekbones!

Finally, a true statement from the WH.