Aw, this is fabulous! I hope she gets herself something nice too, because honestly—was she chosen as a POSTER CHILD for cliche, shitty jobs? Like, she works at McDonalds: ok. She works at Walmart: ok.

BUT BOTH?

Girl. You deserve every cent of that. Every GD cent.

It's weird because you'd sort of think the opposite. Like women's nipples feed babies. Men's nipples are sin pillows.

People taking photos of strangers' behinds should be banned.

You will have to pry my yoga pants from my cold dead hands.

I really, really love it so much when people, male or female, tell me what women do and do not like. Because even though I know we're a monolith that experiences identical feelings in a massive universal synchronicity that boys and men can't even begin to fathom, my feeble lady brain can't keep track of those…

Allow me to depart from being level-headed to use some caps:

Wait, so this woman who hates men so much she aborted a male fetus in her got her buddy Robert to make her a webpage? All men are horrible except for the one guy who is doing all communication about the page I put up to say how men are horrible.

Every 3,000 miles.

Shhh...no one tell them about the actual living babies killed by their families for the inconvenience they caused by being born female.

Dear Azealia Banks,

I had the same thing happen! I did have a few bucks to tip the shampoo girl thankfully but I had nothing for my stylist. She's so nice she sort of waved me off when I apologized for not having a tip but I still tipped 50% instead of my usual 20% the next time.

"As a palate cleanser for the last two weeks, please enjoy some stories of terrible customers receiving their just rewards."