Please leave your bids for the Bitchy NIT here. Open-wheel racing fans are a strong 1-seed.

I don't know what all the complaining is about.

Oh please, watch me play the world's smallest violin.

I'd care a hell of a lot more if this wasn't the most fun and exciting team in the entire NHL. Nate MacKinnon is the real fucking deal, and the whole team can fly. Seriously, watch them if you haven't had a chance.

This Is What MLB's Replay System Will Look Like:

DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS, RICHIE? DO YOU SEE WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU FIND A STRANGER IN THE ALPS?

Fuck you.

it's, uh... it's "Jennifer".

Our hero jumps into his sensible hatchback, and jams the pedal to the floor! The car hesitates for a split second as several computers work together to determine the most reasonable manner in which to apply the traction control, and he sets off at a sensible clip.

Now if only everyone else would be silent about their 5K as well.

"Wow, they did it!"

Go 20 in a 55 when there is no call for it. When shit's bad go slow. I'm fully behind slowing to a safe speed. When you're on a clear asphalt you can go the speed limit even if it snowed this morning. If you are so timid about the snow please just stay home. Some other asshole is going to get so pissed off that they…

That and the "live football experience" isn't necessarily one that encourages the passionate fans to want to be there.

My fired what?

Tucker: Can I kick it?

woosh

Yeah, but how far can he punt it?

FOG HORN PREGAME: Usually a couple beers and a fifth of bourbon. Christ, that rooster loves his bourbon. Every fucking game day it's the same thing: "I say – I say, it's made of corn, son!"

Who the hell were these commenters?