Bartenders should host fundraisers where they patiently listen to my bad jokes over Zoom when I’m drinking alone. Like telehealth, but better.

Jeff Sessions can eat shit. That’s all I have to say about that.

I don’t believe in cancel culture effectiveness, because people are rarely actually “cancelled”, they usually just suffer a few months because they won’t give a proper apology and there’s always, “yes I did this but...”. It’s a false narrative that people being cancelled will actually suffer, because realistically…

He’s not a human, but two hundred pounds of hatred and bile.

After all he’s gone through medically, the one lesson he didn’t learn was empathy. It’s evident he’s thick-headed republican.

Does he also want to institutionalize men fucking boys just like the Spartans did?

“Coastal elites”
Who is going to tell him that being from North Carolina also makes him “coastal”.

a motivational speaker

I mean, the Revolution got us rid of the our last king, and gave us our first republic. It was a pretty great thing.

I means, there was the little sidesteps of the 2 Napoleons and their empires, but oh well, there is like 3 people in France that view the revolution as a bad thing, and they happen to be direct…

Her digestive system is definitely not working at 100% capacity because she is just full of shit.  

It would be better if he lost his ability to reproduce.

Gen Xer here and I will vote for a damn potted plant if it means Dump and his grifter cabal get booted out and into prison. I’m used to being the forgotten generation but I still will raise my voice.

Beyond AOC’s politics and the fact that she seems a genuinely delightful human being, I love-love-love the way she gets under these idiots’ skin and lives rent-free inside their tiny little brain cavities. If we’re lucky, we’ll get to watch some Repug Senator or FOX pundit stroke out on live TV while they rant about…

It’s amazing how on one side all the doctors and scientists are advising caution but on the other side the main argument is BUT I DON’T WANNA 

“Only old people and people with weak immune systems have died from it,” he said. “If you eat fattening foods, don’t work out and don’t take care of your body, it is going to be hard to fight it.”

Oh whoops, I should have been more lateral, thinking-wise:

The other day a customer came to the restaurant wearing no mask and also had his fly unzipped, which really feels like a whole mood.

“Look out voters, if you’re young and dynamic and you vote for a young dynamic Democrat like AOC, you’re going to end up with a government controlled by young dynamic people instead of really really old rich white men!” - Lindsey Graham.

I think it’s funny and smart today. Trevor Noah took a few months to get into the role (in the beginning I felt he had this kind of annoying “ain’t I a stinker?” tone when telling jokes) but so do all the hosts in these jobs (like Colbert finding his footing on his CBS show after about a year.) And having Trevor Noah…

The assertion that Stewart’s Herman Cain impression is racist was spurious. Jon Stewart was doing an impression specifically of Herman Cain’s cadence and simply parroting the idiocy of Cain’s words. Everyone understands that an Obama impersonator doing an impression of Obama’s cadence is not being racist because the…