If anyone wants to hate-read for free, here ya go:

That would be . . . err . . . um . . . Sean Barron. Yeah, John Barron’s brother. You wouldn’t know him, he lives in Canada.

He also purchases Blueboy, Torso and Friction magazines to read the articles.

Yours is the correct response:

Lemme guess. “Undead COTGOPs ??”

Now I want the bumper sticker: “Flush this Turd, November 3rd !!”

I prefer “disgraced former President” Trump.

As repulsed as I am by everything the orange dipshit stands for, if instead of pointing to his bloated skull he were to grab his crotch and bellow, Jersey-style, “I got yer metrics right heeahh,” I’d at least have to respect his game.

Second paragraph is spot-on. Back in the late 90s, two big things happened contemporaneously: the writers’ guild strike, and the “Friends” cast holding out for millions. While both actions were successfully resolved, reality TV is the legacy we’re stuck with. The networks learned that they could ditch the stars and…

Can the virus be transmitted lips-to-butt? Just asking questions, here.

Here’s an idea, how about the Trump appointees recuse their pasty white asses from these cases?

I don’t see a problem here.

“. . . the major news outlets [will] anoint whomever they feel will generate the most revenue for their advertisers . . .”

Don’t put too much stock in the Iowa results. After all, who among us can forget Santorum “surging from behind” in 2012?

Don’t put too much stock in the Iowa results. After all, who among us can forget Santorum “surging from behind” in 2012?

I remember Wonkette joking that she needed either a screenwriter or to be placed in a witness protection program, maybe both. I’m glad she found a screenwriter.

This is some feel-good shit right here. I followed along w/Wonkette as it unfolded back in the day. Hope that King ends up well-rewarded for the wild ride!

“Nobody thinks their period will be blue.”

And I went to the Urban Dictionary to see if “cheat” was another word for Spanx or something. Like, “is that what the kids are calling it?”

More like the Divided Methodist Church, amirite?