Just the opposite reaction for me with Gordon Hayward’s injury last year. Almost immediately after Hayward hit the floor, the play-by-play guy says “ . . . and Gordon Hayward has broken his leg.” And I was thinking “How the hell does he know thaaa—- oh. Ohhh. Ohhhhhhhh!”

If only Hillary responded to “Crooked Hillary” with “Dipshit Donnie,” we would not be having this conversation.

I remember what Max Headroom said about Italy back in the day:

I’ve read “The Yellow Wallpaper” and “Herland” by SPG.  Enjoyed them both, and I have a penis. I’m expecting an award from Shelby Lorman.

Sounds like a variant of the standard doper’s first response to a positive test:

Wisconsin is Scott Free, come January!

The restaurant got so crowded that nobody went there any more.

Is there a special category for Sloan Stephens’ “Bitch tried to hit me?”

“Priyonas... or is it Nickopra... okay whatever their couple’s name is . . . “

I’ll be that guy:

ABP chops them in half so I don’t bother. My blood pressure thanks me.

Billy McFarland, the FyreFest grifter, was getting mocked in absentia in the comments for this if I remember correctly.

That’s “Whista,” ya zippaheads!!

Aerosmith at the Boston Gaahden, December ‘76. “Rocks” tour, peak “toxic twins” era. 14 yeras old, messing with PCP (I’ve changed). Ours was the crowd that got the late commuter rails out of North Station cancelled for rock shows for the following 10 years. Fuck, I’m old . . .

I’m agnostic, but if there is in fact a final reckoning for us, I’ve a feeling that the most destitute people we encounter in life will ultimately be our witnesses.

I hear the same shit, often from professed Christians. My response is usually along the lines of “God doesn’t give a shit. Someone’s asking for your help;  help them, and you’ve passed the test.”

“If you support outdoor cats, you pretty much support invasive species.”

When I was 19 I jumped off a 40-foot cliff into a lake, figuring I could do a front-flip early in the jump and have plenty of time to straighten out in the air to land feet-first. Did my flip and, fighting back against the forces pushing me forward all the way down, landed splat on my belly. Fortunately, I had someone…

Ed Begley, Jr.? Holy shit!

Ermm, hard pass on that one.