Ding ding ding.

...fuck. The Onion is supposed to be satire.

Yeah, god forbid the Palestinians leave their ghetto! Who do they think they are, free people?! Horseshit! Kill ‘em all before they can be a threat, amirite?!

...I was so torn. This deserved a star... but 69 (nice) gave me pause.

Worse.

“I have emerged from it a changed man.”

In the name of national security, no less!

Of all the metaphors man...

I feel like it will be dark and muted in color though.

Yuuuuuuup.

My money is on them never having watched the show and that they only came here to comment because they saw red hats in the image.

Starbucks isn’t a restaurant. It is fast-food coffee. Their primary sales goal is selling said coffee, not meals.

Nope nope. We aren’t changing the topic. The Bible makes it abundantly clear you should have empathy and compassion for those in need, including refugees.

In my experience, as a Millennial - yes. While anecdotal, all I see are old people and tweens getting the frappucinos. No one my age goes there and gets those sugary concoctions. Especially since we are all sleep deprived and crave espresso.

To be fair, their coffee is not $6. It is like $2.50, which isn’t much worse in price than just about anywhere that serves a cup of Joe anymore.

And of that 1%, how many actually go to Starbucks? Can we safely guess it is even half of a percent? Truly a niche market.

Truth.

There isn’t a good decision? How about not murdering dozens of protesters? Surely a first world nuclear power like Israel has the ability to apply less-than-lethal weapons and techniques.

Close enough?

Or...