It’s funny that one of these guys hid his shove behind a play-act of basketball and then ran to the ref to complain about a whistle, while the other one came straight at him and did not pretend to be doing anything other than shoving a motherfucker, and you think the one who did not bother to hide behind the rules…

Guys like Dellavedova and Olynyk are my least favorite kinds of players. Their skill is basically “who knows, I might just injure you!” While Matt Barnes and his ilk will properly goon you, Delly and Olynyk will “accidentally” shred your knee and get plaudits for their “grittiness.”

It needs to be connected to WiFi so that it can cost $400.

How do you squeeze juice? With your hands?

But also, why the hell would a juice press need four tons of force? Is it juicing granite boulders or some shit?

The device Evans spent three years laboring to invent is a $400 WiFi-enabled tabletop machine that squeezes juice ... out of a bag of Juicero-brand juice. It squeezes bags of juice. It is a juice press that squeezes the juice ... out of bags of juice. Bags ... with built-in spouts ... that are filled with juice. Juice…

This is my favourite excerpt.

YOU AGREED TO THE TERMS AND CONDITIONS

“[A]n immature and stupid response that literally could not have ended any other way.” What an impressively succinct encapsulation of exactly the type of reflexive bootlickery Burneko denounced in his piece. And the nice thing is, you can make literally the same exact argument in favor of literally any act of defiance…

Falling in line every time JUST MOVES THE FUCKING LINE.

This whole “OBEY ANY AND EVERY ORDER YOU ARE GIVEN OR YOUR HUMAN RIGHTS ARE FORFEIT” deal aboard airliners is getting really old.