He’s just upset that he’s sexually attracted to a motorcycle. Clearly this man is new to the Jalopnik way of life where we all get boners and run around drooling over cars and motorcycles.

Well now this will give all the super cool dudes in civics riding around without bumpers on ammunition to say “Well Porsche did it so that means my 1500 dollar civic is practically a porsche now with its lack of a bumper! Hooray!”

Can’t wait to see Grosjean eject this thing into a wall like a real pro.

I want to have my balls felt up and charged to BMW so that way I could send the exam transcripts to them with the receipt and say “These are what y’all lost”

Since BMW doesn’t care about being the ultimate driving machine anymore, come on over cadillac. I’ll forgive you for the deville and pretty much the 70’s, 80’s, and 90’s. Fortunately BMW actually made a car worth driving then to hold me over till y’all could catch up and make “The Ultimate Tie Wearing, Tire Burning,…

So basically they’ve taken their place as “the asshole brand” very seriously. Now all they need to do is buy a fudge factory, hire Charlie Sheen to do their advertising, and put a middle finger shift knob with big foot gas pedal on all their cars. It will be ultimate european asshole perfection.

We all wish we could do this deep down inside. Even Barbie jeeps come pre-mudded with Jeep-Life stickers on the back and rhino lined floors.

I know the feeling. It’s like having a well worn pair of boxers that you are fond of, but you’re really tired of the elastic being broken and you randomly find yourself wearing pants with no boxers because they fell down into your pant leg holes. It was time to move on boxers, er skyline.

Just imagine if we were able to have a 3D printer at home and purchase the programming/design to produce the part we needed on our cars. Or even more America, we use a torrent website and steal designs like most limewire loving folks in the great 50 states. I could just see a lot of interior parts having a random…

I always thought the 7-up foxbodies were hilariously cute. I still can’t take anyone driving one serious. They seem to forget they are driving a green mustang with white top and white interior. Their mancard has been left at home in the fridge next to the beer.

This article made me go cross eyed and say “hell yea beau” in my head

As an ex-semi professional driver, I’d like to see women achieve in the sport of racing. However, I do not like to see someone ride their happy self up the chain passed many many many more talented drivers simply based on the fact she’s a woman and she sleeps with the right person. It’s important to promote equality…

I totally thought that was Speed Racer for a minute. All I needed was for a poorly dubbed clunky American voice over that picture and suddenly I’d be 8 again.

This entire idea makes me laugh at the hilariousness that is an econo box turned racecar. It’s like my Focus ST. It’s 252 horsepower. Groovy. It’s hard to believe that my beloved hot hatch is the same car as the 100 horsepower anemic variant that drives to weekly shuffle board meets. Oh god I need to get a new car.

I just hope it maintains its americanness by having a trunk full of coors light and a gun rack option for the back seat.

There’s so much fake rendering by this company I’m half tempted to say it’s staffed by mannequins and blow up dolls.

I can’t wait to go to walmart and all of the cars in the parking lots are jacked up wranglers with 35’s hopping curbs. Everyone will be outside talking about their Jeep and how to be even more Jeep to other Jeepers. In the middle of this scene you’ll see someone on fire. That’ll be me covering myself in gasoline…

Wait..

This is why as a car person even I go, ehhh when it comes to driving fast. A spirited drive is great. But playing Forza on the street against some other moron in a car who you hope has sense and driving skills is a hell of a risk. He gets what is coming to him as it appears that his “c u soon bb” text was more…

As long as they build a van that has a place for me to plug in my man card I’ll buy it. It’d be sweet. I’d plug my card in and it’s like a transformer. Walls flip into gun racks, a yeti cooler replaces the starbucks stained center console, a touch screen navigation with the Equalizer starts playing and the van…