When he said total war I knew he was a gamer.

The man has impeccable taste.

My heart sung when he said Total War.

Somebody should get the Bobs to do a redundancy study on JebJeets, LLC; start by asking Jeb: “What would you say.. you DO here?”

Kathy Ireland, man.

I can’t star this enough. Pictures of Cindy Crawford in a bikini were more valuable in my middle school than a bottle of booze in a maximum security prison.

It had bare boobies. In a pre-Internet world, that was all a man really needed. Damn millennial degenerates don’t know how good they have it.

No couple REALLY cues up an episode of Real Sex to get in the mood.

It’s extra funny because it will hit many of the very people who voted for him to save their jobs, etc. The ones making $20,000-50,000 with kids.

Well, I’m glad that Exxon is taken care of. They were struggling so.

Yes, Attorneys General is a better comparison than Quarterbacks; thank you for strengthening the point.

You took an old and busted joke and made it new again. God bless you.

Oh man, I got such a kick out of House memes and gifs, back in that show’s heyday. It was such a gloriously stupid show.

Perhaps it’s 3-1 lead poisoning.

Lyme disease. It’s always lyme disease.

Imagine taking (Tom) Brady’s intellect... and putting it on a guy with Cam Newton’s body.

Imagine a player with the head of a very smart kind of elephant and the body of, well, also an elephant but FAST! Now imagine a man who is half goat and he has hooks for hands. That’s crazy! Why not? Why can’t I have hooks for hands and live in the sewer? I’m just saying there’s no real reason why not. Cam Newton. Tom…

Damn, how old are you, 145?

Last time a Kizer talked this big, the rest of us got drafted.