Psshhh if I’m flying with 17 children you best believe i’m getting wasted and blabbering incoherently, since when does that make me a “Bad Parent.”

Hahahahaha spoken like someone who wasn’t a teenage girl in the early days of AOL chat. Trust, plenty of dudes are happy to creep on fifteen year olds with no additional secret conspiracy necessary. Sadly.

The Enquirer has actually legitimately broken quite a number major political scandals, e.g. John Edwards.

“Don’t do anything to artificially manipulate interest.”

True, but he certainly didn’t deny it when given the chance.

Don’t do anything to artificially manipulate interest.

I was on the wanting to embarrass Huma train but this is beyond that. No one sets them self up to be labelled a pedophile just to embarrass their wife. This is pure self destruction.

Eh, maybe he’s just a creepy asshole.

Sidepiece is both self-explanatory and gender neutral.

I bet the incident that was Jolie’s last straw was Brad giving Maddox some pot. Or getting hammered and forgetting to pick up the kids from school.

Oh so that’s what happened when they left the attic.

Twelve monkeys > anything Angie ever did.

Marion Cottilard is a beautiful woman that, at least in terms of classical beauty, is an upagrade on Jolie. I tried to think of a way to say that without offending the target audience here at Jezebel and came up empty. Sorry in advance ladies.

#NeverForget their amazingly hideous matching hairdos that made them look like twins from Village of the Damned.

an interview is not the same thing as having to live with her.

I just wouldn’t be able to get over being sloppy seconds to Billy Bob Thornton. Ew.

I thought he entered that period ten years ago??

I dunno. Some guys are into quality acting, ya know...

That’s not what cheating is about. Cheaters don’t go looking for someone hotter.

Who is this Allie and why is her name in the past tense? Very suspicious.