Well, until I was 30 and decided eternal enmity was better.

The idea of actually building a career instead of simply making sure you had a job.

My parents had terrible conflict skills. I grew up thinking that if somebody had a problem with you, you had two choices, either change your behavior or accept eternal enmity, so EVERY disagreement was an ultimate power struggle.

I totally relate to this! I definitely was shown and modeled a "fixed-ability" mindset, which meant that if you shot above your peers early on, you were talented and destined for success in that area, and if you were a little slow at first, you were bad at it and there's no point in trying.

In school, I immediately…

Same. I mean, I can boil water, scramble eggs, etc.,and I've taken Honors chemistry so I can follow a recipe, but I never learned any go-to meals that was flavorful and nutritious and that I could do without taking up a lot of mental space and planning and concentration. Possibly because we never ate such meals…

I was recently asked at one of my jobs to take on some additional higher-level work because "they need my help" and I am in a position to help them because of my "expertise and experience" and it would be a really good opportunity for me to "expand my skill set". (though they just said I was an expert in the area...).…

One of the problems I had with my father is that he insisted that if I was an adult, I should be fully self-supporting, and that if I actually worked hard and was talented, I would succeed with no help, because he did. But what he always conveniently left out was that he didn't go to college until he met my mom and…

Yes! My visualizer style is not usually compatible with people I need to work with in my survival jobs, or the fact that I NEED to do routine, repetitive tasks in order to avoid chaos. Though, I'm gradually moving into a place where I can outsource more.

I know, it seems so basic, but it seems like I fairly regularly say, "OMG this is so cool" and spend hours down some rabbit hole only to come back where I started.

Did it a second time to a different email address, trying to answer each question with, "OK, what is my honest tendency when I first approach something, not what I know I should do or try to remember to do, or try to force myself to do," and I got Visualizer, which is me perfectly:

Same thing, I got "planner" and I am definitely not naturally a planner. I have learned that I need to stop myself when I start things and ask myself if it's taking me towards my goals, for example. I've learned that if I don't make prioritized lists, I end up crying at 3am.

Where was this advice when I was in elementary school? We just were graded on our ability to do pull-ups a few times a year, and I always grabbed the bar and fell immediately to the ground. nothing was done to improve our ability in between tests. Nor could I get better by trying, because all that happened when i…

I think that this is more intended for people who wish for more connection in their lives. If you don't want more connection, then obviously this is not for you. Though, there's a danger to beginning everything with the end of mind. The fact is, every relationship will end, and if it is a great and enduring …

The thing about music teaching, one of the things I have always insisted upon is that from day one, I mentally decide that each of my students is capable of excelling. I have seen videos of kids playing easy piano on recitals with wrong notes and out of rhythm, and that simply doesn't happen with my students. All my…

Love what you said about Phase 1. I have been happily married for 11 years (relationship 15 years), and she and her husband have been married for over 20. First marriage, both of us. One thing we both talked about is that it seems so many people focus so much time worrying about whether they GET a good enough person,…

I cut my friends list down so hard. I lived in Bakersfield when I was 8-18, and I'm never going back. I'm never going to see anyone from junior high or high school again unless they come here. C'est la vie.

Yes. I have been using ManicTime to identify my biggest time sucks. I track for a couple of weeks, then note what my 4-5 biggest time sucks were. I look for a couple of neglected things. I make a note in my ..journal, for want of a better name...of steps I want to take to reduce the time suck time, and find ways to…

For ladies who are generally petite but have a large cup size (D or bigger), try my sports bra substitute...a comfortable no-frills underwire with a leotard over it. No uniboob, no ohmygoddmybewbsarecrushingmylungs, no I-can't-get-the-band-over-my-boobs. Just lots of support where you want it.

It's really important to keep this in mind. Even professional classical pianists, say, don't indiscriminately love all classical piano music. You can dislike representatives of a genre without disliking the whole genre, you can be left cold by entire genres and still love the overall form.

I actually first started…

Yes! If someone can't suggest a way you might improve, they don't actually know enough abut what you are doing to properly judge the quality of your work.