"In fact, can he move it into the Potomac?"

House salad. So new. So edgy.

Sir, we're going to have to ask you to troll a little harder. We're a fairly discerning amalgam of sporting enthusiasts with a well-developed sense of internet culture.

You're the Red Sox of the Big Ten. Really good before anyone cared, then mediocre to awful for years with the off year of victory. Now that there's been a stretch of success, you crow on and on about how great MSU is and preach about doing it right. So did Penn St., if I recall correctly. I can smell the…

There's more than one school in the Big Ten that hates MSU.

Nick Saban couldn't win a national or conference championship at MSU. Just think about that before you run your suck about how awesome MSU football is.

It's interesting. I wonder if most people hate Bonds not because he cheated but because he was already so naturally good, they think he didn't need to cheat. He wasn't some schlub trying to make a roster spot or some geezer trying to eek another season out of his broken down body.

Rules are important and sacrosanct until they aren't.

Had I not seen in a duty free store in one of Tokyo's airports, I'd have had no idea it existed. Those 25-year bottles must be incredible.

It is that. I snagged a bottle of the Hakushu (their 18-year) on the way out of Narita. Worth every penny. Or Yen.

She should just be grateful she works for Playboy and not Penthouse or Hustler. God only knows where that tee would've been.

I think you can safely put this one in the "doesn't work" column.

Not so much "We're here to own this turf" as "We're here to discuss installing the turf and the varieties available and do you need financing?"

All that, plus the terrifying knowledge that you are one injury away from being a human shooting gallery duck in the NHL.

We would also accept "The Recent Unpleasantness".

It's a blessing and a curse.

You've got to be willing to wrap yourself in your flag to the point of cutting off the blood supply to the brain.

That's when the best decisions on foreign policy are made.

To borrow from George Wallace: Mediocrity now, mediocrity tomorrow, mediocrity forever.

Let's make it 40%.

The important thing is that it have more than one meaning, to keep opponents guessing.

I suppose you could use Cleveland to indicate that for the upcoming play, the entire team, to include coaches and staff, have to become a dysfunctional mess.

But that would just be too obvious.