They should really be used to losing three hours wherever they play.

Oh right, I totally forgot I read about this guy awhile back:

"Like when you teach your young child to play dead."

You want to talk about awesome stage music? Reset Bomb Forest.

Worth noting that some stages will be exclusive between the 3DS and Wii U versions.

There are a lot of good ones. Some of my favorites, off the top of my head: Magicant, Gaur Plains, Mushroomy Kingdom (a sidescrolling Mario level), 3D Land (which gets insane), and Spirit Train (that music!).

-TBS Marketing Team

"I am shocked."

Numbers One Through 12

More than anything else, this demonstrates under the new wild card format there's a vas deferens between squeezing into the playoffs and being stuck on the outside.

Above: the kindest thing anyone has ever said about Garin Cecchini's defense.

Ray Rice gets two weeks (initially).

No actually, I took a lot of time out to learn to work the yoyo glitch into my normal game and once you get a feel for it you can do it pretty much anywhere. That said, it takes a lot of practice to get a feel for and Ness is infamously low-tier in SSBM for a number of reasons, so it's not something you would likely…

Mark Sanchez just found his dream center.

These Derek Jeter send-offs just get more and more emotional.

I'd like to go on record here: I fully support domestic violets. If you don't like it, you can take your other 63 crayons and just get the hell out.

Note to self: discard/burn Carlos Martinez autographed sock immediately.