—There. Pithier, & no less accurate!

If the Earth were round, Giancarlo Stanton’s dingers would go straight into outer space. Think about it, you guys.

If you are willing to vote for Trump just because Bernie didn’t get the nom means YOU DON’T ACTUALLY BELIEVE IN ANYTHING BERNIE WAS DOING.

Controversial opinion: Lin-Manuel Miranda looks way better without the long hair.

Looks like they might be...

Rufus Wainwright’s cover of Hallelujah? Get out with that shit. Jeff Buckley or nothing.

Every time something goes wrong for him I smile.

I was also thinking as I walked, “Please don’t grab me because my dogs will bite you.” And not because I was worried about him so much, but because I was worried about my dogs getting a bite history. So I am questioning my own humanity right now.

That sounds incredibly scary. Don’t feel badly about having the police involved. I would have done the same exact thing.

A deranged man who believes he is entitled to a woman is actually the most realistic about all of this in my opinion.

What I’d really like to see is him campaigning for her. Maybe he’ll start after the convention. An endorsement is nice, but actually getting out there to drum up support would be orders of magnitude better.

as Long as They Promise Not to Fuck

So I only skimmed this but what I’m hearing is that we need to waterboard Trump?

Johnson?

Do you like sex, Mr. Lebowski? The physical act of love? Coitus?

Don’t be fatuous, Jeffrey.

He fixes the cable?

Don’t put blind faith in any politician, except these specific ones from over 200 years ago.

OMG “TayTo.” I’m in love.

Whatever the opposite of charming, that’s what Hiddleswift is.