I know this is all in good fun but...unless you’re planning on waiting until June to make the trip, I would not attempt that route across North Dakota, Montana, and northern Idaho in winter in either a questionable older vehicle going out or a broke-down junker coming back. I would probably be very hesitant to do it…

Practical explanation from a lawyer:

3rd Gear: I don’t think anyone realizes how FedEx actually works. They don’t own the majority of the vehicles in their “fleet”. They use independent contractors/owners for all of the customer pickups and deliveries, as well as for the intrastate and interstate pickups and deliveries between hubs and terminals. This…

Cherokee = Liberty (as designated by DaimlerChrysler)

Simple solution. Bring back the Liberty nameplate. DaimlerChrysler dealt with the issue 20 years ago that way, and simply rename the Grand Cherokee the Wagoneer. Either that or pay the tribe a percentage of the profits and they’ll drop the issue overnight.

Yeah, where are the Oklahoma is OK! plates?

Carnival. Really? I’m thinking the Sedona name will make a comeback within a couple years.

This exists because people who buy this wouldn’t be caught dead in a Lincoln. Luxury brands are seen as wasteful by a large segment of the population. These people would rather spend the money on a loaded Camry or Explorer instead of a Lexus or Lincoln just because of the branding. They’re also targeting people who…

This is truly the dumbest thing they could have come up with. They should have spent the money installing cluster boxes and parcel lockers in every neighborhood and just used standard production vans like the Sprinter, ProMaster, or Transit to complete deliveries to those boxes. Now they’re going to spend billions on…

Sioux City and other incidents with uncontained engine failures are always examined when designing new aircraft and components. The 777 was designed in the early ‘90s after those events and is probably the safest airliner in the air, after the 787, as far as containment of the debris and keeping it away from hydraulic…

“Sign up for a track day or a top speed event, or drag strip night or something, you inconsiderate pricks.”

Neutral: highway deaths would sharply increase. The incident with the 777 is fairly unusual since the type was introduced. No 777 passenger has lost their life in a mechanical failure and the only hull-loss accidents were missile strikes over Ukraine, deliberate crash into the Indian Ocean, and flight-crew error…

My next-door-neighbor’s wife traded a mint Mustang 5.0 LX for one of these turds back in the day. They thought it was faster because the speedometer went to 120 MPH and the Mustang’s only went to 85 MPH.

Touche

Tesla can’t afford to sell the cars even at the reduced price. They’ll nickel and dime on stuff like paint and door handles to keep from selling cars that low. GM makes $0 on the Bolt, and Ford will make $0 on the Mustang Mach-E, but it’s okay because they also sell big trucks and those EVs give them CAFE and carbon…

This article is basically truth, but one thing Chevy could do overnight that would sell more cars is changing the model name. Bolt sounds too much like Volt, which people still have a negative view of because of the bailout, and even if you know the difference, vehicles that start with the letter B just don’t sell…

1997, $.65, Oklahoma

YOU TAKE THAT BACK! CHIP FOOSE IS A LIVING LEGEND AND BOYD WAS A LIVING LEGEND UNTIL HE DIED FROM THE BEETUS!

There’s a sucker born every minute.

Dude, this is Jalopnik. This car could have been designed by Chip Foose and carved out of billet tungsten by hand by Boyd Coddington himself and it would still die a No Dice at Any Price death by a thousand angry Jalops. Ironically enough, it’s the very definition of a jalopy.