When asked why he did it, Oliver replied, "Just for the halibut."

Fortunately, Cutler is immune to criticism. Unlike his kids, who aren't immune to a goddamn thing.

remember?

That's weird that they made such an effort. Usually, guys like him get left alone on the sideline after they've kicked.

760 dribbles, 158 touches, 36 shots.

Wow, that girl is unbelievable!

"Where are the penises?"

Washington shoulda been Pocahontas.

Hey, I like fucking swearing as much as the next guy, but this shit you wrote is full of unnecessary motherfucking obscenities. It's a story about a fucking 4 year old kid with cancer. Fuck.

I feel like this belongs on Jezebel. Seems a little high brow for this place.

this post contains every one of my least successful pickup lines.

If he was a true friend, he'd know that another pound is about the last thing DeMarcus needs.

Brother Mouzone?

"I want to say I truly regret this incident," Peterson said after reaching the plea deal. "I stand here and I take full responsibility for my actions and am ready to accept my punishment".

I'm going to email the wife with a subject line of "bitpushr is having an affair". Then when she gets home and tries to kill me, I'll say that people believe I'm having an affair, which is quite different.

The good news is that by age 50 Marcus will be right at the median among ex-football players as to how many NFL games they remember playing in.

At least he got a free education.