Pretty much like almost every other major city in the country

In college I once dressed up as AIDS by attaching wrappers of Gatorade, Kool-AID, & Lemonade to a white t-shirt and walked around with fake blood and poorly-placed Band-AIDS on my body.

I wonder if the abnormal size of her armbands are meant to hold the capacity of all her tears when her fragile, delicate heart gets its shit crossed-over by that next guy that will inspire that next song.

I'm a new transplant to Tampa and Cigar City is excellent.

Dude had one of the most gorgeous homerun swings I'll ever see.

Nah, that's a really good joke

You don't have Schlafly Pumpkin Ale so therefore this list is a joke.

Which one of you is the best at Chicago steppin'?

Apparently there's a new Birdman in Denver these days.

To put in context, this occurred during homecoming week that featured a Guantanamo theme.

From what I'm told, Serra's orifices will be lining up opposite Justin next Saturday.

God help us all if Ebola hits Cincinnati. Those poor people would starve to death.

Last time I saw nuts thrown that hard I was in Thailand and there wasn't enough Sato to block out the imagery.

That seems like a better use of that region than the waffle maker I was looking at in Spencer's the other day.

Dillard's Fragrance Employee: "Good Afternoon, sir! Is there a particular cologne you're wanting to try today?"

Man, if I scored as much as Stamkos does, it would sure help make my Trichomonas feel less like a peculiarity.

The 12th Fanny

As Carson hoisted his Uncle Billy up from the grounds of defeat, he couldn't seem to shake the inevitable weight that was being pressed upon his social consciousness: White America had lost, yet again.

As a Rams fan, I would love for them to go back to the Blue & White Jerseys. I would also love to see them win games, draft a QB not made of paper mache, have an owner that gave a shit, have a stadium that didn't make me feel sad.

There are plenty of terrible things and people in Philadelphia. We don't need to resort to making them up.