“Porsche dildo: There is no substitute.”

Death Magnetic was a hilarious name to me. It’s like they were sitting around, crippilingly sober, and were like “hey man, what’s something heavy?? What about, like... fucking magnets man? YEA-HEAH!”

To be fair, a Metallica dubstep album would more than likely be worlds better than anything they’ve released in the past 25 years.

My advice for anyone who is driving in DC for the first time: “drive like a taxi.” It’s just a free for all, and if you try to drive like a sane person you’ll end up being the guy pulling a baseball bat out on someone on the side of the belt way. In gridlocked construction traffic. At 3 am.

They EXSPANED though guys! That’s all I needed to hear.

Matoi?

You got it. It’s the crack-cocaine-meth. America’s drug of choice.

Also, escape from dinosaur kingdom outside of Natural Bridge, VA. Historically accurate account of the confederacy’s daring plan to stop the union advancement into Virginia with dinosaurs.

Reminds me of Dinosaur Land. 100% medically accurate!

Honorable mention: Virginia’s own, “foamhendge”

West Virginia Mystery Hole!!

So half of jalopnik (let alone FA) readers are genuinely more qualified than Trump to make decisions when it comes to the United State’s nuclear arsenal. That’s it, I’m announcing my candidacy. AntaBaka/Deez Nutz 2016, here I come.

Thank you, my mixtape will be dropping soon.

Glad someone picked up on that :) I noticed after posting and felt pretty dumb.

Too much sippin now you know I’m getting sick

Got that affluenza so you know that money flows

ODB?!?!

<3 Richmond. As soon as I saw the opossum one I immediately thought to myself "yep, seen a few ads like that back in RVA."

Dying Fetus.

This. My 91 Talon TSi AWD. Objectivly it was a total piece of junk. Never ran right, wiring from hell, Evo ecu lying haphazardly on the passenger floor. Affectionately known as “the death trap,” but it was my death trap. My first project. I had to sell it for half what it was worth due to being in a super tight…