Bees?

That’s Assange, not Snowden.

I think it counts, but I don’t tend to distinguish between seltzer/sparkling/whatever.

You’re bad.

Water, but with bubbles. Have you thought of that?

Seltzer is the nectar of the gods, but La Croix is overpriced garbage for people who want to act like they’re special for buying a brand name. Guzzle down two liter bottles of store brand seltzer and learn to enjoy your life.

I don’t think you “get” senior week.

At least in Philadelphia, the fans wait until you’re in the stadium to do this.

California über alles.

Speak for yourself and Greg Abbott, “MrTexas”

The government gets your taxes in Chicago, just like everywhere else.

Do you live in a third world kleptocracy? Normally in the US local government handouts to contractors at least go through a couple levels of bureaucracy.

Which are paid to....

Who pays the contracts? Right.

Let's all move to your small town, then. Your commute might not be so great after everyone takes your advice.

Live in a shithole where you get to spend 2 hours in a car crawling in traffic each way to work, then?

KJU would have given that water some on-the-spot guidance and it would have flowed away from the subway entrance.

You’re dependent on the government to keep the roads paved and clear of snow.

For those of us in the southwest, it already does.