Yeah, but what comes out of those machines doesn’t have the patented Dasani taste that’s probably similar to if you lick a sidewalk. I’m glad it doesn’t, but they’re acting like it’s more than it is.

I’d consider kicking a puppy, lightly, if it meant I could get Polar. La Croix and the Trader Joe’s options are decent, but not enough. My local store just started selling mandarin orange flavored seltzer, but only in cans, and with the amount of seltzer I drink, it feels wasteful to buy anything less than 2 liters at…

I live to serve.

They’re a total bottleneck, too, even if you’re at some place with the scratch to spring for two of them. Depending on people’s preference, you could get two or even three people filling up on soda concurrently with the regular old fountains, and you know exactly where will give you any particular drink. Now you have…

Drew, you’re entirely right that every soda fountain should be legally required to dispense plain soda water, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with getting a free water cup and filling it with carbonated water. It’s water, just with carbon dioxide in it. If you go to the right parts of Europe and ask for water,…

You can use as many as you want as long as they don’t conflict with each other. Those should be two separate deals.

You can use as many as you want as long as they don’t conflict with each other. Those should be two separate deals.

Hot take, bro.

The Yankees are over there.

That’s no way to talk about your brother-in-law. In any case, good luck against Taker.

I haven’t thought about the crotchety old man calls in at least 10 years. They played that Mo Money Mo Problems parody incessantly, too. I probably remember the words to that as well as I do to the original.

And then the “MJ & BJ” billboard with Monica Lewinsky a few years later.

Tub Ring!

Wow, I forgot all about the Vines.

Like Koshien Stadium in Japan?

When’s he going to get the Fox News buyout so we can fully ignore him?

I did miss that 30% off book deal...

I did miss that 30% off book deal...

It’s not out yet!

It’s not out yet!

There goes any chance of a Trump/McMahon ticket.

And if you pay taxes in the United States, you’re invested in extrajudicial killings, UAV warfare, whatever the NSA is still doing, etc. There’s no avoiding it.

Yeah, I just tried it too. Guess a dirt cheap stocking stuffer price was too good to be true.

Yeah, I just tried it too. Guess a dirt cheap stocking stuffer price was too good to be true.