I guess jet fuel CAN melt steel beams. ; (

If Oprah can’t fix you, you are an irredeemable disaster.

And it is the most likely story to be completely made up. As much as we wish people acted like they did in movies, they don’t. Think about it for a second - any man concerned with his kids being manly men wouldn’t be taking them to dainty little coffee shops in the first place where they charge and arm and a leg for…

The pizza dough is more delicious than anywhere else because the water is made of corpses.

It’s times like this that I believed in hell so I could rest assured that she would die and be sent there. Even Buddhist hell, which is temporary because you come back with a chance to improve yourself, would be worth it.

Somebody needs to sue CVS. Clearly the magical barrier that keeps rapists out of women’s restrooms has fallen out of warranty.

maybe he can fashion ted cruz into a hot air balloon by using ted’s gigantic oval suits

I was thinking go pros.

My vote is that the Presidential Election should be decided by throwing all the current Candidates into this gash and whoever claws their way out alive gets to be President because honestly that seems like a better way to choose than what we are doing now.

Every time I have pregnancy dreams, I end up giving birth to the Eraserhead baby.

It’s almost as if someone or some document urges them to adopt a morality of a bronze-age, tribal society.

By your logic, rape and sexually assault should be on the rise, but it is actually going down, that’s even more impressive when you think of what the definition of rape was back in the 70s.

Exactly. I give $100 to Planned Parenthood every time I drive by protestors in front of a woman’s health clinic near me. I have two teenaged daughters and we smile and wave, letting them know that their efforts are helping PP.

Did Kunis? I’ll have to google that, I didn’t know. Agree with you though. At this point, no one cares.

There Was A Little Spanish Flea
A Record Star I Thought He’d Be

so? so what if it’s anti-catholic? since when are they a protected class? fuck em.

He can write checks. He can set up emergency centers in the cities where his customers are to dole out cash. He can set up emergency distribution of gas cards, food cards, CVS cards, etc. to impacted users. Fuck him and his prayers. If his board of directors offered to pray for him instead of paying him he wouldn't…

RIGHT?!?! I want him to start sending these families $700 of his own cash money right now to keep.