"Scrotally Awesome," coming next spring from Happy Madison productions

"Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown."

This may be the dumbest thing I've ever read.

Argo 2: Back to Tehran!

I thought people made movies because they had a good idea for a movie that audiences would actually want to see. OH WAIT I forgot we were talking about Kevin Smith.

He's Canadian, get off his back.

William H. Macy should have won for Fargo. I will go to my grave making this argument.

A female Ghostbuster is called a Ghostbustress.

"Homer, I don't use the word "hero" very often. But you are the greatest hero in American history."

And you call them steamed hams despite the fact that they are obviously grilled?

I had totally forgotten about this one, but there was at time in college when "Hey hey hey it hurts me" was a regular utterance for me.

"I know where we can get some baguettes!"

Marge: "Your lifelong dream was to run onto the field during a baseball game, and you did it last year!"
(Cut to framed newspaper on wall with headline: "IDIOT RUINS GAME/Springfield forfeits pennant"

Please, don't bring home any more old crutches!

This is probably the line I quote most often in my life.

Hans Moleman: "Eating an orange is a lot like a good marriage."
Abe Simpson: "Just eat the damn oranges!"

Any excuse to quote Hans Moleman is a good excuse to quote Hans Moleman, and boo(urns) to you for suggesting otherwise.