Dammit Otto, you have lupus.

May he.

First Martin Shkreli, now José Mourinho. Will there be any heroes left among us by day’s end?

That dude in Aldo’s corner with the backwards hat...you’d think he’d just seen his family shot in front of him...damn, man.

Yeah, much better that a team maybe lose on a blown call than everyone chill for a few minutes before losing their shit.

Goalies are typically not the best defenders. It’s kinda like asking why the punter was flat footed as the return guy blew past him on the way to the end zone. His job is to kick, not to tackle. And this goalie’s job is to use his hands, not his feet.

Read that completely in Carl’s voice.

Upon further review, Ms. Lee did not maintain control of the camera throughout the process of contacting the ground. The ruling of the post is overturned. Incomplete.
/Highlight truther’ed

US soccer clarified that the guidelines don’t apply to German born children of US citizens, so the guideline change is unlikely to effect the future of the USMNT.

Remember kids: Black Lives Matter is a bunch of whiners who are looking for reasons to be offended. The real oppression is a lack of Christmas iconography on your coffee cups.

I don’t know. They may have a point. Those cups don’t look anything like the ones Jesus drank his Gingerbread Lattes out of.

Kristina Laurence is a hero. In a horrifying situation, her stand for the truth when everyone around her (even the victim, initially) was telling her to shut up, is truly awe inspiring.

I grew up in South Carolina so I think I’ve got a good handle on what does and does not constitute being a slave. Something about making at least $8 million over 12 years, not including endorsement deals, doesn’t really strike me as slavery. Suck it up, dude, and while you’re at it pick up my fucking club.

In his defense, he only expects to see Lee Corso once a week.

Clearly, FedEx Field should've been a dome.

This is kind of like the opposite of the Cowboys this week, where the GM had to keep Greg Hardy from cutting a coach.

“Maybe someone could open the baby gate for Daniel Fells?”

No he’s not. It’s perfectly fine to be orgasmic after a goal like that. Now go back to watching your Joe Buck.