Anecdote to make you feel...better? I donno, I just remembered this reading that.

Hey dude, don’t give up! I don’t know a lot about your situation, but from what I gleaned, your health problem (Gout?) has gotten in the way of your health-improvement journey?

Joe Pesci is the one and only lord.

No one wants to be Kyle though. Not even Fredo, even though that’s a different movie.

Preach!

Opening narration:

All eight, so we can give big hugs!

I, for one, welcome our spider-alien overlords with open arms.

Huh, it is a small world. After all.

I think so, but it was about high school and they weren't sisters. Regardless, saw the Shannon Doherty one too!

Holy shit, that was a thing?

FOG MACHINE TIME. That's the best part of Unsolved Mysteries. That and when people claimed to have seen aliens and shit.

I liked the one where this woman basically BECOMES Tori Spelling and shit gets real. Forget the title but it totally happened. Or it was a fever dream. I think someone got stabbed. Also the ones that clearly had a production budget of five dollars and a pack of gum.

Ok, seriously, I feel the need to seriously make this happen.

I will, batbogeyhex. I will. And Sergio from SNL will be playing the music.

SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY...half priced tickets.

You got it kiddo.

When I heard 'gambling', I was all "Not an issue, because whatever."

And the fog machine! Seriously, way too much fog. But I loved it. I want to practice necromancy to bring back Robert Stack from the dead, chip in twenty bucks for production, and BAM we're back baby! Also, Matthew McConaughey was in an episode so TRUE DETECTIVE CROSSOVER.

I am sore. I am hungry. And I am laughing. Now I'm more sore. No regrets.